Ask Alice
OK – cheap shot but got you to look. The reason we have an FAQ site is that we get bored of having to answer the same questions and you get worried that you will look like a pratt asking a silly question.
We take the pain out of it – but if it has not been answered here then just contact Duckar Central and we’ll give you our undivided attention (as long as Question Time isn’t on)….
What kind of Rally is this?
We can call it whatever you want but it is essentially a BANGER TOUR which means driving less than prestige and possibly not quite classic cars along a suggested route. We meet in the mornings and in the evenings at a pre-determined place and the rest is up to you. For insurance purposes and also for your own subconscious state of mind, please don’t call this a rally in the Colin McRae sense of the word. It is not a race but a tour, gathering like minded perverts desperate to have a good time and see the world before they get too infirm. Perhaps that’s us – in your case it is just about a good time with competition focused on individuality and not speed…..
Do we need to have a car before we sign up?
It is not essential because the sourcing of your team car can be almost as exciting and team-building an experience as the running of the route. Remember – to get a car that will fulfil all our criteria you may have to purchase a car with a short MOT or tax period. To save you money in MOT’ing and taxing the car you should buy it as close as possible to the set off date. Just remember to leave enough time to get the V5 (logbook) sorted because we will want to see that in your name before departure. The DVLA can take their time over this so to give you time to decorate and get the V5 back, start to panic around a month beforehand if you don’t have anything (even then it can be done in under a week with a good wind).
What is the destination of each rally and why?
In 2011 the Duckar team of village idiots have planned 5 routes designed to take you to cultural / party cities around Europe. We have chosen cities quite deliberately because of their cultural heritages (you can read into that what you want), but it is ultimately designed from your perspective as a porthole to briefly visit some places you might never have been to before….. and that you might want to go back to again (with the wife / girlfriend / husband / boyfriend / donkey / next door neighbour – who are we to judge). Select the route that takes your fancy and we will give you more in-depth information as time moves ever closer to the off.
Is it really possible to buy a car for £350 or less?
Yes. There are hundreds of sites to find your pre-nurtured vehicle. It just has to get you there – and back if you do not want to scrap it at the end. We recommend GumTree, Ebay, your local paper, any body shops in the area – with the scrappage scheme almost finished there might be more available but it is just a question of hunting.
How much does it cost to enter one of the Juicy Rallies?
Entry fees for each event are £250 for a team of two with each extra team member costing a further £25. We suggest that unless you have purchased a £350 coach or Espace, four team members should be more than enough.
Do we have to theme our team?
It would be a shame to not get into the spirit of the event (and win some prize money of course) but if you have a phenomenal car you just don’t want to spray paint or shove stickers on, then so be it. We mark cars with points for effort but that also includes the team members as well so get yourself over to the nearest fancy dress parlour and go for it. All we ask is that you are aware of the fact that not everyone wants a blow up doll speeding past them at 70 miles an hour and that police forces in other countries do not particularly like cars that look like the constabulary hurtling by with flashing lights – but more of the nitty gritty can be found under the Decor Department page once you have signed up. Be creative – there is a cash prize so it is worth spending some time over it.
We made it there – do we have to drive back as well?
No.
If you don’t want to drive back (or you don’t think that the car will make it back) you can scrap the vehicle you spent months on creating, either at a scrap merchant in the city, or its environs and fly home. That is why your documents are essential as the scrap yard will expect everything to be in order before they take it off your hands. All the final destinations (at time of writing) are served by EasyJet, RyanAir, FlyBe or any one of the budget companies. For the Rallye de Canard, you are in France already so it is a ferry trip home.
For those with their own jet or Cessna there are plenty of local playing fields and army assault courses to land on as well, so getting home without your car should be relatively painless on your wallet (if not your backside).
What happens if we break down on the way?
How can we put this without sounding callous – your problem. We strongly suggest you invest in breakdown cover from a reputable company like the AA, RAC or Green Flag. Make sure they cover the countries you are going to and most importantly that they will repatriate you as well as the car if necessary.
What about insurance?
A small tip that helps with all things insurance – and for your own peace of mind. None of the Duckar Events are competitive so if you use the word “Rally” most companies will make the telephone equivalent of someone who has just put their finger through the toilet paper. The event is a car tour across Europe – and with your breakdown cover there should be no problems. In fact, try and get the insurance broker to sign up as well! Extra points for any successful conversions!
How long does each rally last?
We believe in the KISS approach so everything follows a pattern (mainly because we are stupid). We would like to see you the night before the start at a venue to be confirmed near to the start – usually a bar or restaurant. You can register from around 1700 to midnight on the Thursday (we need a kip too). The rally starts at 0815 – 0900 on the Friday and you should arrive at the days’ end destination anywhere between 1700 and midnight (caution – if it is close to midnight and you aren’t there you have either broken down or are lost – so call us). Each subsequent day will follow a similar pattern. We usually have them on Bank Holidays so you don’t have to take too much time off from work. If you are not driving back you should be snuggly tucked up in your own bed by 1900 on the subsequent Monday or Tuesday night.
What should we take with us?
You carry the bags so it is up to you – some may chose to tent it so you’ll need a tent and something warm. Otherwise….
Is there anything that we MUST have?
Each country we drive through has specific car requirements – triangle, fluorescent jacket, first aid kit and blow-up doll (ok not all of them are essential). Apart from that you will WANT a digital camera / movie camera, mobile telephone and of course we expect you to leave emotional baggage back in Blighty so make sure you have made an effort to bring your smiling muscles.
Do we have to raise money for charity to take part?
No – it is just a way of making something good happen from your debauched long weekend – we will not think any less of you.
What are the challenges?
Challenges! What challenges. Well just driving from A to B is a little boring so we set some tasks for you to complete. Nuff said – if you want to know more you had better sign up….
Are the challenges compulsory?
What is your problem – we said we wanted you to loosen up. If we promise they’ll be fun will you do them? We spent a lot of time on them and remember, there is prize money at stake and a chance to swap a few post-challenge stories each evening.
Will I need any Visa’s to enter the countries on the rally?
If you are not an EU citizen then you will probably need visas. Check online or with a specialist visa company like The Visa Company for your own circumstances. If of course you are fortunate to be an EU passport holder you are unlikely to require any visas but you should check before you leave – as we do not want anyone to experience a “Midnight Express” moment!
What happens at border crossings?
With the right visa / EU Passport you should find minimal resistance at the border. Most times they are not even manned as the EU has taken a grip. If you choose to cross at smaller crossings this likelihood is increased; but you are out there on your own cognizance. So to recap; you should not have any problems as long as you have the right visa and / or an EU Passport!
You don’t do this – you don’t do that….what do you do?
It takes a long time to put a decent route together – ensuring each day is possible and recci’ing potential routes and morning / evening venues for each day. We provide the Duckie Bookie, the challenges, and of course the other teams for you to compete against. We provide the smiles and y-fronts that make this set of rallies the funnest most excitingest goo-fest that you can find this side of the Western Hemisphere. (Please note that we can in no way be held responsible should you not encounter a goo-fest somewhere in the Western Hemisphere that is better than ours but I doubt it!)
What is the Duckie Bookie?
All that happens over the four days and beyond is contained in the Duckie Bookie. Sheets and fun things to do as well as where to meet in the mornings and at night. Without it you might find yourself lost – but then that is all part of the fun of the thing!
How old do I have to be to take part?
We regret there are no under 18′s allowed unless accompanied by a driver over 25. We would also suggest for insurance purposes that no one under 18 drives as it is very tricky in the unlikely event of a prang (because 17 year olds never have accidents do they?). We also suggest that anyone over 113 might be better off at home – but if you are 114 and want to come we will take it on advice.
Are there any other restrictions?
No but we are responsible for the world we live in and we would prefer that you don’t intend to drive drunk or under the influence of anything other than a Strepsils Throat Lozenge mmm. On a serious note – we frown heavily on any anti-social behaviour and you will find yourself on the next flight home – or behind bars somewhere searching for some European soap-on-a-rope. We will also not allow you to take part if you do not have the requisite paperwork – driver’s licenses, V5, insurance, passports and MOT. Other than this we demand nothing less than your enjoyment.
If you have any other questions – and of course have read this far down the page – please email us and we will try to answer all enquiries before Easter 2012.
Seriously though – we have tried to make these events no-brainers so just relax, sign up and all will be taken care of.
